I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
