what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
