In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
