so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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