Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
