mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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