If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
