dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
