Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
