His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm having to shit out rocks
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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