I just cut my nipple shaving
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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