Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
