why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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