I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
