i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
