bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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