do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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