Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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