Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
