either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
