the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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