Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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