One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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