Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im six kinds of drunk right now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
