guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
just come out here and I will go home with you...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
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she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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