I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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