Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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