Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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