no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
