i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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