i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
