I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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