And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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