All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
the raccoons are back...
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