I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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