Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
