im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
