meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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