it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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