she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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