Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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