she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
