making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
