Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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