Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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