i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Randomize
