After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
jump out the window naked night went bad
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