Please, let me fuck your mom
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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