So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize