I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
