my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize