Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have aggressive nipples.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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