So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
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He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
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Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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