So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
