it was like a zeppelin in a condom
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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