We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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