it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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