i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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