Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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