I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
